The growing number of overweight people is putting strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

#people #strain #healthcare #system #effort #health #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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The health care system is pressurised to solve the problems caused by an increasing number of overweight people. Certain people believe that incorporating more physical

education

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classes in the school schedule is key in dealing with

this

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issue. I completely agree the above statement because

this

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can help grow

interest

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in exercising and act as a long-term approach. The best way to tackle the problem of obesity is to add more physical

education

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lessons to their schedule as

this

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will grow their passion in

exercise

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and sports.

For example

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, studies have shown that students are more likely to pursue a form of

exercise

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after school if they have a growing

interest

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In addition

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this

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interest

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can spread to their family members.

Therefore

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, adding more

exercise

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classes to the school curriculum causes a growing

interest

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in staying healthy.

Additionally

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, adding more physical

education

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lessons is a long-term effect of eradicating the health problems caused by overweight people. In turn,

this

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can continue beyond their schooling life,

thus

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reduce the number of overweight people.

This

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can ensure the population becomes healthier and fitter.

For instance

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, the average child only undertakes a form of

exercise

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2 times per week, which is not merely enough to counteract their sedentary lifestyle. For

this

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reason, incorporating more sport classes and extracurricular activities ensures a more fit population. In conclusion, adding more physical

education

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classes can be beneficial to reduce the increasing rates of obesity because it can affect the future generation as well as assist in growing

interest

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to continue an active lifestyle.

Therefore

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, I completely agree with the statement.

Submitted by dashbhana on Tue Oct 22 2019

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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