Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary society, the debate surrounding who should be punished if a
child
commits a crime, themselves or their
parents
, is ongoing.
This
essay will explore both perspectives.
While
some argue that
children
should be punished as they did it by themselves, others contend that
parents
should be arrested as they are responsible for them until the age of 18.    Nowadays, youngsters commit
crimes
without thinking about the consequences.
Although
they are confidently committing
crimes
because they are under 18, and they know that their
parents
will take
responsibility
, the government can make rules against young people who are committing
crimes
, so they will know that if they do something bad, it will not go unpublished.
However
, punishing them at
such
young ages can cause serious problems with their health. It may be psychological and emotional trauma for them.
Moreover
, they don't know what they are actually doing, as they may commit it under the influence of someone or something.
Thus
, they must be punished, as they are the
ones
who committed
this
crime and take
responsibility
for their actions, but it may cause serious problems for their mental health.   In contemporary society,
parents
are responsible for their
children
's actions until the age of 18.
Furthermore
, they are the
ones
who are punished for their
children
's
crimes
, which is good as they are the
ones
who are worried about their
child
and they are not letting their
child
suffer.
Nevertheless
,
parents
should care more about their own lives and let their
children
be punished.
Although
they are responsible for their
children
, young people should  worry and not commit
crimes
.
As a consequence
, it is true that
parents
worry about their
children
and take full
responsibility
for themselves, but they
also
should think about themselves.    In conclusion, youngsters who commit
crimes
should be strictly punished. Even though it will affect their health, they are the
ones
who commit
this
crime.
Also
,
parents
should think more about their lives rather than only worrying about their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
and taking all the
responsibility
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and show a complete understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your points are well-supported and avoid repetition. Use varied sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate control over language.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving it a clear starting and ending point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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