growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to The deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Obesity is one of the leading problems in which our society face, nowadays. There are many ways in finding a solution to decrease the number of people who experienced the effects of being overweight in our health condition. Physical education must emphasize in the curriculum to lessen
this
Linking Words
issue.
This
Linking Words
essay will explain why I totally agree.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are lots of measures to prevent every individual in becoming an obese.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, as stated above, putting more importance in including physical education in the school can help the students to be more aware and knowledgeable to some physical exercises being taught by their teachers.
Also
Linking Words
, it will be beneficial to the youngsters that they will be educated about the detrimental effects of becoming overweight.
For instance
Linking Words
, my niece, a 10-year-old student becoming conscious about his diet and doing some exercises because it is what he learned from their masters. So, giving importance to
this
Linking Words
kind of subject will help to prevent childhood obesity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people oppose the aforementioned statement because for them it is a waste of time and focusing to the major subjects
such
Linking Words
as English, Science and Technology should be the main goal. Others,
also
Linking Words
believed that losing weight and preventing to acquire the impact of obesity in our health can be self-learned.
In addition
Linking Words
, the healthcare providers should
also
Linking Words
be responsible in educating our society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in one of the community health centre in the Philippines, they conduct a seminar and created an exercise program for those who are above the normal weight. In conclusion, in order to prevent obesity and the bad effects in our well-being
such
Linking Words
as in having cardiovascular and endocrine diseases, physical education must significantly introduce in every university.
Submitted by klarence_bautista on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: