IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people choose to eat not meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own healthbut also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your opinion?

#people #meat #fish #healthbut #world
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Humans were omnivorous from the dawn of time, but a trend of vegetarianism is on the rise nowadays. Most people adopt
this
 vegan lifestyle and believe that it is not only beneficial to the body, but for the whole
world
 as well. I would discuss and analyse
this
 view in detail before voicing my opinion.
To begin
 with, consuming vegetables alone are beneficial to the body to a certain extent only, for lack of
meat
 from the diet may lead to health problems. To elaborate,
meat
 and fish are rich in essential amino acids, which are absent in plants,
therefore
 consumption of vegetables alone for a long period can lead to certain deficiency diseases.
Furthermore
, over consumption of vegetables can
also
 lead to health ailments.
For instance
, tomato is rich in a chemical known as oxalic acid, if consumed excessively will lead to the formation of kidney stones. Whereas, the notion that avoiding
meat
 will benefit the
world
 is quite contradicting.
Firstly
, imagine if the whole
world
 became vegetarian, it would severely affect the agricultural and animal husbandry sector leading to its global shutdown. Eventually, leading to a global economic crisis, which may take years to recover, as most industries and tourism sectors heavily rely upon the
meat
 market.
Secondly
, there would be an imbalance in the ecosystem, since the domestic animals will rise in number and lead to issues
such
 as overpopulation and overgrazing.
Finally
, the most kernel fact to notice is that there would not be enough land to cultivate crops to feed the current population. A study conducted by students in a London university concluded that we need five times the present farmlands if all of humanity turned vegan. In conclusion, while analysing the above written facts, I would opine that the idea of choosing vegetarianism for the benefit of the individual self and the whole
world
 is quite ludicrous and inane, and would
therefore
 suggest the need to add
meat
 to the daily diet.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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