IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You work for an international company and need to take some time off work to celebrate a family event. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter ● give details of the family event and why it is important you attend ● say how much time you will need away from the office ● suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

#work #company #time #event #manager #office
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well! I am writing regarding an early time off from work on 24th of June on Friday because my grandma is celebrating an eighty-fifth birthday. She is arranging a family gathering at her place and she might
also
 require some help to set things up. She is planning to give
an
Correct pronoun usage
us an
show examples
elongated
Correct word choice
extended
show examples
 lunch and arrange some games for us. I would like to be a part of
this
 celebration because she is really close to me and brought me up.
This
 is the first time she is celebrating her birthday in her whole life.
Therefore
, it is significantly important to attend it. I would need some time off after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch at noon to leave early on that particular day because the lunch will be at one in the afternoon.
Moreover
, I will ensure the continuous workflow in my absence and all the tasks will be completed prior to that day.
Also
, my team will ensure the fulfilment of commitment and preparation for the next day. I hope you consider my request in account and I await your prompt reply. Yours Sincerely, Harshit Kaur
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more details on how your team will handle your duties while you are away, this will make your argument stronger and your task response more complete.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to create separate paragraphs for new ideas. This enhances readability and ensures logical flow.
task achievement
The overall tone is polite and professional, which is ideal for a letter to a manager.
coherence cohesion
The closing and greeting are appropriate and help to maintain formality.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dear [Manager's Name]
  • I am writing to inform you
  • I would like to request
  • my presence is required
  • celebrate an important family event
  • a significant milestone
  • attendance at this event is crucial
  • I understand the importance of my role
  • I kindly request
  • leave of absence
  • for a period of
  • I will be happy to assist
  • delegate my tasks
  • to ensure a smooth transition
  • handover my responsibilities
  • I apologize for any inconvenience
  • I appreciate your understanding
  • Thank you for your attention to this matter
  • Sincerely
  • [Your Name]
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