IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many inventions by humans are considered revolutionary (e.g. wheel). Some people think that the most important invention is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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No one
can deneing
Suggestion
can deny
can denying
 the importance of
internet
Use synonyms
 in our
life
Use synonyms
, which allow us to communicate and share information
whith
expresses the means used
with
 each others.
However
Linking Words
, going back in
history we
Accept comma addition
history, we
 will find much more important inventions
,
Accept space
,
which had
have
Suggestion
had
changing
Suggestion
changed
 our
life
Use synonyms
 to be more easier in these days. I completely disagree with
statment
a message that is stated or declared; a communication (oral or written) setting forth particulars or facts etc
statement
statements
 that
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 was
important
Suggestion
more important
 than those inventions. Throughout the history there were inventors who still have a profound impact on our
life
Use synonyms
 today. Taking WWI and II, a medical exploration had saved millions of people
life
Use synonyms
, which was a
Penesilline
any of various antibiotics obtained from Penicillium molds (or produced synthetically) and used in the treatment of various infections and diseases
penicillin
 antibiotic, before
this
Linking Words
 medication more than 7 million have used to
daying
engage in
doing
 by small injuries if it get infected.
Thus
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
invention
Use synonyms
 considered as
life
Use synonyms
 safer.
Also
Linking Words
, it was taking more than a month if you travelled from London to Roma on horse
for example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way of travelling have completely changed when one of scientists
discover
Suggestion
discovers
 the automobile vehicle based on
weel's
a simple machine consisting of a circular frame with spokes (or a solid disc) that can rotate on a shaft or axle (as in vehicles or other machines)
wheels
Welsh
 concept.
Linking Words
Therefore many
Accept comma addition
Therefore, many
dicoveries
the act of discovering something
discoveries
 in
transportion
a facility consisting of the means and equipment necessary for the movement of passengers or goods
transportation
transition
 were mainly depend on
such
Linking Words
 concept.
In addition
Linking Words
, they could not be
internet
Use synonyms
, if the was not
electrisity
Suggestion
an electricity invention
electricity invention
invention
Use synonyms
 by Adison. So, even
electrisity
a physical phenomenon associated with stationary or moving electrons and protons
electricity
have
Suggestion
has
 more role in our
life
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
,
for example
Linking Words
, many home
gudget
a device or control that is very useful for a particular job
gadgets
budget
 and machines depend on
electrisity
a physical phenomenon associated with stationary or moving electrons and protons
electricity
 like TV, washing machine,
refrigrator
white goods in which food can be stored at low temperatures
refrigerator
refrigerators
, air conditioning, etc.
Although
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 has
help
Suggestion
helped
 us in communication with each other through
chating
talk socially without exchanging too much information
chatting
charting
cheating
 and
sprea
distribute or disperse widely
spread
 information via education platform,
Telephon
electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds
telephone
 and printer
invention
Use synonyms
 did it before.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has
excelerated
speeded up, as of an academic course
accelerated
exhilarated
 and enhanced our old methods. In conclusion, after a careful analysis, I
could argued
Suggestion
could argue
 that in spite of discovery of
internet
Use synonyms
 has
broaden
Suggestion
broadened
 our world to become as small
valliage
a community of people smaller than a town
villages
, there were many
invention
Use synonyms
 much
important
Suggestion
more important
 than the
internet
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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