It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?
One school of thought holds that the
media
plays an integral part in the increase of juvenile crime levels. This
essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind this
tendency before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to tackle it
There are two reasons why the number of teenage criminals grows rapidly through fighting in the media
. One reason is that young law-breakers have a lack of parental supervision.By guiding them on how to tackle all the information when it comes to the media
, and raising their offspring's awareness when it comes to viewing content
in media
. As a result
, they could learn how to censor violent content
, which are appearing on TV shows, video games, and online platforms. Another reason is peer pressure, which means children need to fit in with their peers. To be more specific, in order to show off with
their friends fighting moves, kids tend to replicate violent behaviour that they see in the Change preposition
apply
media
. Consequently
, they have become addicted to fighting, since they have received applause and approval from their bestie.
To combat this
worrying issue, the following essential steps should be taken. First and foremost, education should be obligatory in respect of the media
. To be more specific, the government should be implementing school-based programs focused on emotional intelligence, and media
literacy to combat juvenile crime. In addition
, the authority ought to stricter media
regulations. For instance
, inhabitants need to advocate for more stringent regulations on violent content
in the media
as a preventive measure. Consequently
, the rate of teenagers engaging in crime will reduce dramatically. Hence
instead
of viewing some adult content
on television, now children must watch videos, which are appropriate for their age.
In conclusion, there are some underlying motives behind this
negative tendency, and it is crucial that the aforementioned measures be implemented to deal withSubmitted by hungn61001 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your stance on whether violence in the media is the main cause of juvenile crime. This can help frame the essay better for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion feels a bit abrupt. Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly reiterates your stance on the issue discussed. This helps to give a sense of completion to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother and more logical transitions between your points to enhance the flow of your essay. This will make your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay outlines the problem and provides potential solutions, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The content is relevant to the task and addresses the issue of juvenile crime and media violence effectively.
task achievement
You have identified multiple factors contributing to juvenile crime and suggested well-thought-out solutions, which shows good analytical skills.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs for different points, which aids readability.
coherence cohesion
You have maintained a formal tone and appropriate academic style throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.