IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Scientists tell us some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that million of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

#scientists #activities #health #million #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Everyone's goal to be fit with a healthy mind and body, and today's society is being more conscious about leading a healthy lifestyle. Despite whatever scientist's advice, about what is good and bad for our body, still people continue to do unhealthy activities. In my opinion, the main cause for
this
 is being addicted to substance abuse, and the apt solution is education and therapy, which will be
further
 discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, activities
such
 as smoking and drinking are sill continued by a large proportion of people, despite being aware of its ill effects. In cigarettes the substance
nicotine
 causes addiction, while in alcohol, it is due to
dependance
. Easy availability and peer pressure are the main reasons for
this
dependance
.
Moreover
, another ill habit to be noted is that of chewing tobacco, leading to dental and oral cancers. People have been following
this
 activity generations back and is still considered as part of a culture in some regions.
For instance
, in Bihar it is a custom that guests should chew pan, as a sign of gesture of accepting their hospitality.
However
, various steps can be taken to take care of these issues. One of which is, to rehabilitate people who are addicted to drinking, by being admitted at de-addiction centres. In these centres, the patient would undergo a series of counselling and medical therapies. Whereas, in the case of
nicotine
, other than educating its side effects other measures are to be implemented. In which,
nicotine
 in cigarettes needs to be replaced with
nicotine
 gums or patches, where eventually their
dependance
 can be reduced with time. In conclusion, even though people are aware of the drawbacks of an unhealthy lifestyle they continue with it due to its
dependance
. But, these habits can be curbed to an extent by counselling and rehabilitation.
Submitted by dr.allensolomon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: