In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

When discussing the differences in leisure
time
among students from different places, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue. In some countries, like Sweden and
Norway
Accept comma addition
Norway, for
for example
, people have enough
time
to pursue social events and other private activities. In other countries,
However
, students are under a lot of pressure and have less free
time
. In the following essay, I will discuss the main reasons, and possible solutions for
this
difference. The main reason, in my opinion, for the difference in leisure
time
is
changes
Suggestion
changed
in the local job market, which creates different employment opportunities.
As a result
, in countries where open vacancies a scarce, Like Mexico, Russia and
Lebannon
an Asian republic at east end of Mediterranean
Lebanon
, people are forced to work hard
on
Suggestion
at
the expense of their personal
time
, in order to be hired.
Also
, differences in culture can account for the changes in free
time
.
For example
, In the USA it is normal for students
to travel
Suggestion
travelling
abroad at least twice a year, While in
israel
Jewish republic in southwestern Asia at eastern end of Mediterranean; formerly part of Palestine
Israel
students are
excpected
considered likely or probable to happen or arrive
expected
to work a full
time
job during their education and hardly ever travel. In my opinion,
this
growing change among students can by solved by optimizing our education program, as well as by providing state loans for students and young people. Through changes in the way students are evaluated, like changing the ratio between exams and free papers, students will be able to use their
time
as they see fit, and have more personal
time
.
This
has been tested in the Hebrew University, and resulted in an average increase of 5 hours weekly for leisure
time
, according to the university student council.
Also
, by giving students and young people governmental loans, as done in the UK, USA and the EU, people will be financially secure and be able to work have more
time
for themselves. In conclusion, in some countries, due to cultural and
economical
Suggestion
economic
differences, people have less
time
for personal
activites
any specific behavior
activities
.
This
can be increased through changes in the local education programs, and by providing financial
suppot
give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to
support
supported
by the government.
Submitted by chilafp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: