IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All the people in a company should be treated equally and provided with the same numbers of vacations in a year.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #company #numbers #vacations #year
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It has been suggested that every
staff
Use synonyms
 in an organization should be treated the same way with
similar total number
Suggestion
a similar total number
 of holidays annually. The essay will state why I do not agree because some
staff
Use synonyms
 have put in
longer
Suggestion
long
 years of service and have superior
qualification
Suggestion
qualified
. Experience in an establishment should be taken into consideration. When a
staff
Use synonyms
 in an office
have worked
Suggestion
has worked
worked
 a long time and gained enough
grouds
a body of students who are taught together
grades
 in the workplace it should count for something. Admittedly, equity and fairness
is
Suggestion
are
 important to make employees motivated in an organisation,
However
Linking Words
, in order to put fair and equal treatment into practice work experience must be of utmost importance. For
inatance
an occurrence of something
instance
,
staff
Use synonyms
 who have been in Coca cola plc for lengthier period are entitled to more vacation times than their counterparts who have not stayed that length of time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, qualification is a factor that should be used as a yardstick. The fact that some
staff
Use synonyms
 have a higher certificate than others
so
Accept comma addition
so, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
, are known as senior employees should not be
underated
make too low an estimate of
underrated
. These senior cadres of
staff
Use synonyms
 should be given preferential treatment in the area of break times. To illustrate
further
Linking Words
, most institutes allow their senior
staff
Use synonyms
 the opportunity to choose the number of times they would like to go on vacation sometimes going as far as paying for their trips. To Conclude, I strongly disagree that all
staff
Use synonyms
 in an office be treated at par in relation to holidays because years of experience and qualification put some on a higher level than others
Submitted by getifyjayb on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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