IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health
It is said that students should be taught more about their fitness and wellbeing at school.
This
 essay agrees to the statement and will discuss
firstly
,
Accept space
,
the importance of health awareness among students
,
Accept space
,
secondly
,
Accept space
,
how these are beneficial for children.
To begin
 with
,
Accept space
,
students are the future generations to lead the country
,
Accept space
,
while giving sufficient amount of lessons about health at schools, help them to improve their physical and mental strength and will keep them away from diseases.
For instance
, teaching the necessity of washing hands before and after the food
,
Accept space
,
imporantance
 vegetable and
fruits
Suggestion
fruit
 consumption would decrease their common illness and that will put an end to the common sick leaves among pupils. Many schools are not promoting the physical activities during school hours.Schools should encourage and ensure that students are getting
adequate amont
Suggestion
adequate amounts
adequate amount
an adequate amount
 of physical
excersise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
exercises
 and active participation in sports
,
Accept space
,
which will eventually improve their fitness level as well as academic level,.
For example
, In China, students are forced to do
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 before the beginning of each class
,
Accept space
,
as it helps them develop their success rate. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
Students spend most of their at school
,
Accept space
,
in order to mould a healthy and efficient generation
,
Accept space
,
health awareness and physical activities are essential that could be given in schools.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: