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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented graph depicts the number of
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 who used the three major airports in New York City
betweet
Correct your spelling
between
 the years 1995-2000. The airports are –
John
Use synonyms
F
Use synonyms
.
Kennedy
Use synonyms
, LaGuardia and Newark. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 reported in millions. As we can see from the data, LaGuardia
airport
Use synonyms
 had the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
 among all the three airports.
This
Linking Words
 trend was consistent throughout all the years, except
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1997,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
John
Use synonyms
F
Use synonyms
.
Kennedy
Use synonyms
airport
Use synonyms
 had a higher
amount
Use synonyms
 of travellers –47
million
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Newark
wad
Correct your spelling
had
show examples
 the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 1998,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
John
Use synonyms
F
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
kennedy
Change the capitalization
Kennedy
show examples
 had
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
. When looking at the yearly changes, we can notice that LaGuardia
airport
Use synonyms
 had a steady increase in the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of travellers.
While
Linking Words
 in 1995, 35
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 used the
airport
Use synonyms
, by 2000 over 65
million
Use synonyms
 travellers used it.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
John
Use synonyms
F
Use synonyms
.
Kennedy
Use synonyms
 had a decline between the years 1997 and 1999 of 15
million
Use synonyms
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words john, f, kennedy, amount, passengers, airport, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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