Some people think celebrities earn too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world,

celebrities

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such

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as actors, musicians, and athletes earn millions of dollars every year. Some people believe that they are paid far too much for what they do. Personally, I partly agree with

this

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view because,

although

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their work is valuable in some ways, the huge amount of money they receive is not always fair compared to other important jobs. On the one hand, it is understandable why

celebrities

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earn a lot. First of all, they often work hard to develop their skills, face a lot of pressure from the public, and sometimes sacrifice their private life.

Moreover

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, the entertainment industry earns billions of dollars worldwide, and

celebrities

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play a big role in attracting audiences.

For instance

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, a famous actor can make a movie more successful just by being in it. In

this

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sense, they help generate money and deserve a good income.

On the other hand

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, the problem is the huge difference in salaries between

celebrities

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and other important professionals. Jobs like teachers, doctors, firefighters, and scientists often involve long hours and serve essential roles in society, but they earn much less.

For example

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, a doctor who saves lives every day may earn only a small part of what a famous singer makes in one concert.

This

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clearly shows that society sometimes values entertainment more than real contributions. In conclusion,

while

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celebrities

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may deserve to earn well for their talents and efforts, I believe that the amount of money they receive is often too high compared to people in other important fields.

Therefore

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, there should be a better balance in how different professions are rewarded

uluga2002Sat Apr 05 2025

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Task Achievement

Ensure that all points made in your essay directly address the prompt. In your essay, you mention the disparity in salaries but could further elaborate how this specifically relates to the notion of celebrity earnings being too high.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay has a logical structure, consider using clearer transitions between ideas to enhance flow. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'On the contrary' can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

Task Achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, citing actual salaries or specific instances of societal impact by non-celebrity professions can bolster your points.

Content

Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structured approach with clear paragraphs enhances the readability of your essay, making it easy to follow your argument.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Some people think celebrities earn too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that animal testing for medicine and cosmetics should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human safety.

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