At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Many countries now have a large population of young adults. While some people think that it is advantageous to have more people who are young, others are of the opinion that there should be a balance between the populations of both the generation.

This

essay will analyse both the views before arriving at the reasoned conclusion.

Firstly

, let’s talk about the advantages of having more young adults. There are several merits like the young generation are more creative and

productive which

Accept comma addition

productive, which

will lead to the growth of

nation

Suggestion

the nation

nations

in all the aspects like science, technology, business.

For instance

, a country like India has a large number of young adults and

therefore

companies here do not face any trouble searching for talented and skilled people for a particular job. In fact, different companies from around the globe come to India for recruitment. Young people are healthier and do not need to spend much on

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

Also

, young people can adjust and can think rationally for the development of

country

Suggestion

the country

where as for

old

Suggestion

older

people, handling a change is difficult. There are some downsides of having young adults as well. One of them is that if the amount of employment in the country is very less as compared to the number young individuals, it will create a huge problem as these people require a job for their living and can’t be depended on anyone.

For example

, India has a high rate of unemployment as there are

lot

Suggestion

a lot

lots

of people in 20 to 40 age group.

This

unemployment can even give rise to criminal activities.

Submitted by simmah.kazi on Sun Oct 27 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

262 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch them. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer the lifestyle and activities offered when living in a cold environment. Others prefer a hot environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.