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Writing Samples
Band 4

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the numbers of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

#time #population #countries #adults #numbers #people #situation
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nowadays
Suggestion
Nowadays
,
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,
 lots of pupils seek part and full-time jobs whilst pursuing their
education
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 in colleges or universities which often leads them to focus less on their marks and be stressed most of the time
.
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.
 In
this
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 essay I will explore the reasons why people
work
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 during their college years and suggest some solutions to the issue
.
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.
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Firstly I
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Firstly, I
 will discuss the financial deficit students confront.And
secondly
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,
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,
 I will consider some other practical rationals which
implies
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imply
 working during studying phase
.
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.
 To commence with
,
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,
 a
study
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study, work
work
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 balance, has always been a huge dilemma facing students globally
.
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.
 Most students from middle class have to
work
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 long hours in order to cover their tuition fees as well as life expenses
.
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.
a
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A
 fundamental reason
to
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for
this
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 is the increasingly rising
education
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 cost
.
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.
one
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One
 solution to
this
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 problem is the interest free student loans which ought to be granted by the government
.
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.
Consequently
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,
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,
 students will not be burdened
by
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with
 the heavy load and the stress of the demanding long working hours
.
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.
Furthermore
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,
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,
 it is
also
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 true that some students would rather
work
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 during their studies in order to attain experience and job skills which qualifies to some better job positions after graduation
.
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.
This
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 is more common amongst foreign international students who are planning to settle where they completed their
education
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.
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.
a
Suggestion
A
 considerably efficient method to help students acquire these skills and experience is throughout the re-structure of various majors plans to be inclusive of an imperative practical training in their fields for a duration of one year minimum
.
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.
As a result
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,
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,
 students will take advantage of
this
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 training period by gaining the crucial skills for the various
jobs'
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job
 requirements
.
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.
 To sum up
,
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,
 the financial factor as well as the desire to attain experience and local skill
plays
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play
 the major role in pushing people to seek employment whilst they are still studying
.
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.
 In my opinion
,
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,
 governments should grant certain subsidies for students in their college years to enhance their fiscal situation in
away
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a way
 that
wont
will not
won't
 force them to
work
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 to pay for their living and
education
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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