Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Children

Suggestion

Children's

Child

Child's

health

Use synonyms

detoriating

become worse or disintegrate

deteriorating

due to the fatness around the world.

Obesity

Use synonyms

pretty alarming issue

Suggestion

a pretty alarming issue

throughout the world, even in the well-developed western countries. There are many reasons associated with the

obesity

Use synonyms

, let us examine few problems and its solutions. It is likely that the main reason for

obesity

Use synonyms

is the changing

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

around the world. The sophistication and the advancement in technology has a greater negative impact on the

health

Use synonyms

than it was thought it would be. These

advancement

Suggestion

advancements

in technology comes with a greater impact on the heath due to lack of reduced physical activity in both home and office.

Suggestion

With

office people continuously sit and work before the computer and damage their

health

Use synonyms

. Now a day’s even

children

Suggestion

child

prefer

Suggestion

prefers

sitting at home and playing video games rather than playing games

outdoor

Suggestion

outdoors

, and they love to chat on their internet with their friends and seeing television. These changes

are showing

Suggestion

are shown

adverse effect

Suggestion

an adverse effect

adverse effects

health

Use synonyms

, while seeing

television they

Accept comma addition

television, they

eat unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

cheese burgers

a hamburger with melted cheese on it

cheeseburgers

, fried chips, aerated drinks which is loaded with sugar etc.

these

Suggestion

These

foods are loaded with unwanted fat and calorie. These kind of

food

Use synonyms

, not only make the kids

fat but

Accept comma addition

fat, but

also

Linking Words

a major reason for many diseases related to

obesity

Use synonyms

like gar, cardiac arrest ay a very young age.

Sambru

Suggestion

a guy of age 13 died of cardiac arrest

Linking Words

last march

Suggestion

the last march

and it was even published in the Hindu.

Such

Linking Words

is the effect of

obesity

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, parents and teacher should take

these step

Suggestion

these steps

seriously and as a matter of urgency should keep an eye on the children.

For

Linking Words

example parents

Accept comma addition

example, parents

should keep an eye on what the child is eating and should restrict the junk

food

Use synonyms

and give healthy

food

Use synonyms

Teacher

Suggestion

The teacher

should educate the children

Suggestion

about

the impact of junk

food

Use synonyms

, and sedentary lifestyle, the government can ban these unhealthy

Use synonyms

food

Suggestion

foods

for the welfare of the country In conclusion all countries are falling a prey to these unhealthy

Use synonyms

food

Suggestion

foods

, so let’s stop

this

Linking Words

menace and prevent these unhealthy practices for the welfare of the society

Accept space

only a healthy society will become a healthy country later.

Submitted by chrisfelshia.s on Mon Oct 28 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

357 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.
According to some, money should be allocated to support artists by government, others say that the money ought to be spent for health and educational aspects. In my view, although investing on art can promote culture, I believe that it should be utilized to support educations and increase people’s health because educated society might support artists.\n\nOn the one hand, art need to be supported financially by states. There are many artists who are preconsciously talented in this field; however, they cannot illustrate their arts due to lack of support. To explain more, creating a pieces of memorable art need money and arsis usually cannot afford to providing materials related to it. Apparently, artist looking for a sponsorship to tackle the issue. For instance, there are many people who said that, if we had a sponsor, we would have created unbelievable art. Hence, money not only play an important role, but also it can assist artists to focus on their job to reach at the peak of his/...
6
band
Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task
In today's technologically advanced society, the question of whether children should have access to their mobile phones during school hours is a topic of considerable debate. While some argue that phones can be detrimental to students' academic performance and focus, others advocate for their potential benefits in enhancing learning. In my opinion, while there are valid arguments on both sides, a balanced approach that incorporates strict guidelines and supervision is essential to maximize the advantages of mobile phones while mitigating their drawbacks.
4.5
band
You ordered an item from an online store and it has arrived damaged. Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter - explain why you are unhappy - request a refund - make arrangements to return the damaged item.
I am writing to express my disappointment you, because I bought a computer from your an online store on February
4.5
band
The government should invest more money in public transportation than in private cars. Do you agree or disagree?
The increasing reliance on private cars is having a detrimental impact on the environment, public health, and social cohesion. Governments should prioritize public transportation to address these challenges and promote a more sustainable and livable future.
4.5
band
Human activity has had a negative effect on plants and animal all over the world. Some people think that it too late to do something about it. other think that there is still time to take effective action. discuss both sides and give your opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, people's lifestyle changes has tremendous unfavourable impact on trees and animal. Some groups of people believe that it is impossible to do anything now, whereas other stated that still we have an enough time to save environment by making robust plans.

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.

You ordered an item from an online store and it has arrived damaged. Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter - explain why you are unhappy - request a refund - make arrangements to return the damaged item.

The government should invest more money in public transportation than in private cars. Do you agree or disagree?