Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the current modern world due to several factors the current population has improved
life
expectancy
,
hence
some people say that the retirement
age
of the people should be increased. The access to the world of information which has made people more aware and advancement in medical sciences have helped people
to
Suggestion
with
an increased
life
expectancy
. If we compare to 3 or 4 decades back more people have access to better medical facilities and access to clean water and sanitation
.
Accept space
.
The people are more informed
hence
, the
dieseases
an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning
diseases
are
also
being detected at earlier stages and
hence
not turning fatal. Several factors have resulted in the average
age
of
population
Suggestion
the population
to increase
on
Suggestion
to
the universal level. But it's
also
important to understand that whether just increase in the
life
expectancy
is
Suggestion
has been
enough or do we need to
also
look at the quality of
life
people have during these time periods. We come across a lot of mental and physical illness in people after
age
of 60 which were not the case before as we see more people living after 65 and
hence
it become very crucial that we keep in account how healthy people are in their old
age
and are they fit enough mentally and
physcially
in accord with physical laws
physically
to work for more years. In the
end I
Accept comma addition
end, I
would say that with increasing
life
expectancy
and more need for financial support,
average retirement
Suggestion
the average retirement age
age
should be increased as the people in these
age
group
Suggestion
groups
are in need of more help and people are healthy enough to contribute at various levels.
Submitted by kumarmadhav872 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: