Many people prefer to use public transportation while others say that personal cars are the best mode of transportation. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of using public transport?

It is true to say that some
people
argue that public
service
is good for easy
people
while
others believe that private vehicles
much
Add a missing verb
are much
show examples
better in
this
issue.
However
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my opinion, I firmly believe that the public system is excellent for making our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier and comfortable. There are many reasons why public
service
is excellent. First and foremost,
this
service
is good for poor
people
. Most of the
people
in our country are poor and they do not high paid
service
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
That is
the way they go
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
one place to another by bus or train at the cheapest cost.
Besides
,
this
service
gives another
service
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that the number of
people
travel at a
time
.
For example
, The New York Times recently published news that 82% of the
people
of Dallas city love to travel public
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
and
this
safe
Correct your spelling
saves
show examples
their
time
from traffic.
However
, sometimes it kills our valuable
time
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
their personal or crucial schedule and makes us very disappointed.
On the other hand
, private
service
makes our life much easier and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
.
Initially
, it saves us
time
and management systems.
This
service
much
Rephrase
is very
show examples
comfortable and friendly and it is controlled fully in our mode.
For instance
, when we think
to join
Change preposition
of joining
show examples
a party or family program, we prefer to go with private vehicles, it makes our social status as well.
Experienced
Add an article
The experienced
show examples
, private system helps to increase oil and traffic jam as well. In conclusion, considering
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both views I firmly believe that
although
the private system is good, public
service
is excellent in
this
issue and
finally
the government considering some steps to maintain better
service
for their civilians.
Submitted by oli13.ielts on

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a more coherent way.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and well-connected to the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The response should fully address the prompt and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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