IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The higher authorities believe that the most significant goal is to make the economy higher, which helps to build the living standard of
people
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 living there,
while
Linking Words
 another group of persons have a view that the progress of other things in the nation is equally valuable. I strongly suggest that everything should be improved in the
country
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, like hospitals, schools and the transportation system, rather than just improving the economic level. Both points will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one side, economic growth is important to make the
country
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 independent and to achieve a higher standard of living members. If a
country
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's money value is higher, the nation does not have to get dependent on other countries for help, and the
country
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 would be a valuable asset for its public.
For example
Linking Words
, China has a higher economic value; more than 80% imports are made by China from other countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2016, it was shown that 2.5 million
people
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 were employed there. It seems that the higher economic value of a
country
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 is highly important for success. On the other side, other things like making free hospitals in the economy will help poor
people
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 to take medications when they feel sick.
For example
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, in a
country
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 like India,
people
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 are dying from Cancer and dengue, because no hospital has the equipment to get rid of these bigger problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Higher education is equally important to get educated employment; for it, the universities and schools need to be established.
For example
Linking Words
, the reports of Pakistan show that half of the population went abroad for better studies
due to
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 a lack of a better education system. I firmly suggest that these two things are quite necessary to do in the economy for betterment. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 economic progress is important for
people
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's good lifestyle but universities and bigger hospitals are needed to establish to make the
country
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 progressive.

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planning
Plan before you write. Start with a clear intro that states both views and your own clear opinion.
coherence
Use 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show the two sides, then give your view in the final paragraph.
coherence
Keep ideas simple and linked. Use joining words like 'also', 'however', 'therefore' to connect sentences.
content
Give real reasons and clear examples for each point. Do not use wrong facts or vague statements.
grammar
Check grammar: use correct subject-verb form, avoid run-on sentences, and correct word forms.
task response
Summarize your view in a brief conclusion and restate why both sides matter.
task response
The essay tries to discuss both views and gives a personal stance.
content
There are examples given to support ideas.
coherence
There is a clear structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • living standards
  • employment rates
  • national revenues
  • social services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • public infrastructure
  • social inequality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • social progress
  • environmental sustainability
  • cultural preservation
  • holistic development
  • quality of life
  • natural resources
  • future generations
  • national identity
  • social cohesion
  • diversity
  • sustainable development
  • inclusive development
  • balanced approach
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