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Band 5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars.

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
Crimes in many countries have gone beyond the alarming rate and it is a common practice to put convicted people behind bars. A segment of
society
 opines that not all crimes are equal and repercussion of
harsh sentence
Suggestion
harsh sentences
a harsh sentence
the harsh sentence
 for all offences is uncivilised. They outline the need for unpaid
community
 service as punishments for mild-offenders and youngsters. I believe that certain offenders should be given non-custodial sentences. The predominant reason for me to believe that
unpaid
Suggestion
an unpaid community service
unpaid community service
community
 services like cleaning streets, planting trees, and working for charity
instead
 of prison is that many offenders are not born-criminals and the circumstance often
incite
increase the likelihood of
invite
 them to commit a felony.
Besides
, when
such
 unpremeditated convicts are expelled from the
society
, they
incline
Suggestion
are inclined
 to re-offend in isolation as there is none to accept them. Apart from
this
, juvenile delinquents should be rehabilitated by indulging them in
community
 services.
On the contrary
, brutal offenders who commit heinous crimes like premeditated murder, vandalism, abduction, hijacking, rapes and so on should be punished to set examples in the
society
.
Thus
, the background of a criminal and the motif of a crime should be considered.
For instance
, if a teenager steals food from a store as his mother is starving is a completely different scenario than someone robbing an old lady. The former deserves a
second
 chance while the latter should be imprisoned. To recapitulate, someone with no previous record of crime and a sensible reason for a slight misconduct should be treated differently than a serial killer. The objective of the law is to maintain peace in the
society
, not to punish people.
Thus unpaid
Accept comma addition
Thus, unpaid
community
 services
is
Suggestion
are
 a great option to let some convicted lament for their crime.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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