Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

This days many

Suggestion

To this day many

This day many

people believe that those who have academic qualifications are successful and being a good student is the only way to succeed.

However I

Accept comma addition

However, I

do not agree with

this

view because there are several factors in practical

life

which determine the

success

of an individual. I think

one

of the most important

requirement

Suggestion

requirements

to become successful in

life

is hard working.

To begin

, many educational institutes are still following the old-

fashion

Suggestion

fashioned

and

out dated

old; no longer valid or fashionable

outdated

methods of teaching;

Therefore

the creativity of many students does not flourish.

Additionally

, students' talent

are not assessed

Suggestion

is not assessed

by schools. The only thing

that is

considered is their grade.

Consequently many

Accept comma addition

Consequently, many

students drop out.

Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it

is evident that if a person fails in school, it cannot be a sign of intellectual weakness.

On the other hand

it indicates some students are not able to benefit from conventional methods of learning. There are

also

many students who fail in school because they have the passion for doing something other than education.

For instance

, many athletes were not interested in study, but when they recognized their talent they succeeded in

life

Plus they

Accept comma addition

Plus, they

may be good at singing, painting or trading. To be successful in

life

one

needs to possess some skills and personal traits.

For example

one

of the most valuable

thing

Suggestion

things

is persistent effort. A person must have the right attitude, determination and willingness to work hard.

Furthermore

having some academic certificate increase

Suggestion

increases some academic certificate

are some academic certificate increasing

have some academic certificate increased

are some academic certificate increased

was some academic certificate increasing

am some academic certificate increasing

will some academic certificate increase

their chances of

success

Although

education could have a positive effect, without hard work and perseverance no

one

can achieve

success

life

. In conclusion, failure in school

dose

mature female of mammals of which the male is called 'buck'

does

not mean that people cannot become successful in

life

. Academic background could certainly improve a person's chance of

success but

Accept comma addition

success, but

it is not the only reason for being successful. There are many important factors

such

as hard working on

regular basis

Suggestion

a regular basis

Thu Oct 31 2019

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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