IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why hapiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

#people #money #happiness #hapiness
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It is considered
that number of people
Suggestion
that a number of people
 believe that the income which we earn will not
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to
happiness
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
disuss
to consider or examine in speech or writing
discuss
 about
difficulty
Suggestion
the difficulty
 in defining
happiness
Use synonyms
 and factors which influence
happiness
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is difficult to define
happiness
Use synonyms
 because it depends on different people. They are few people thinks that by earning huge
money can
Accept comma addition
money, can
 make them happy and others believe that
work
Suggestion
the work
 they are interested will make them happy. So, it varies among the person.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently a survey has been held
amond
in the middle of
among
 the employers to know at what extent they are happy with their work. Most of them were unhappy because of the work they are doing even though they are earning more income.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are several factors which bring
happiness
Use synonyms
 to
person’s life
Suggestion
a person’s life
 like
study they
Accept comma addition
study, they
 are adopting and how far they
achieving
Suggestion
achieve
 their goals. Some people were interested in different streams like engineering
,
Accept space
,
 doctors, actors etc. By selecting the study which they are interested can make them happy and they are people who
has
Suggestion
have
desire
Suggestion
the desire
a desire
 to achieve their goals. By working hard in their fields can easily achieve their goals it acquires lots of
happiness
Use synonyms
. Example a television programme as
been made
Suggestion
is being made
, where the parents and students were invited.
This
Linking Words
 programme is conducted to know about
students
Suggestion
students'
student's
 feelings towards their study. Many of them were happy with their streams and explained how far
it
it is
it's
 easy to achieve goals in interested stream. From
this
Linking Words
 it is concluded that the money which we earn can’t provide
happiness
Use synonyms
 and
happiness
Use synonyms
 is hard to describe as its very among the people and depends upon their characters. There are several factors like working in knowledge fields and achieving goals can
aquire
come into the possession of something concrete or abstract
acquire
happiness
Use synonyms
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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