The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the detrimental effects of obesity
on
Suggestion
in
people have been
debated
Suggestion
debating
significantly between
health
care system experts. I strongly agree that having regular sport exercises are beneficial and crucial at schools.
To begin
with, a minority of people believe to squander more
time
at school for sports can deteriorate children’s scores who are strict in their basic lessons which are
interfere
Suggestion
interfering
with Math and
chemic
relating to or used in chemistry
chemicals
chemise
comics
.
Nonetheless
, parents believe children do not have sufficient
time
to spend for sports at schools.
Hence they
Accept comma addition
Hence, they
persist their children to attain high scores and decrease the
time
of sports
although
may neglect their
health
and throw them on brutal risk.
In addition
, they depict if they increase the
time
of exercises children might be
exhaust
Suggestion
exhausting
exhausted
and lead to miss the gist of lessons. In any quest to compensate the lack of sports
time
’s schools,
skillful
having or showing knowledge and skill and aptitude
skilful
experts have demonstrated accelerating sports
time
can flourish and improve the power of
brain’s
Suggestion
brain
regions which are
deal
Suggestion
dealt
with solving complicate lessons and relieve stress.
Moreover sports
Accept comma addition
Moreover, sports
can increase the content of
lungs
Suggestion
the lungs
to absorb high levels of oxygen and promote the brain’s functions. Plus those children
who
objective case of "who" ("who" is also often used in the objective)
whom
they have a strong muscles and are in good shape all of which are
consequences
Suggestion
the consequences
they have high self-esteem because they appear gorgeous
an
Suggestion
a
handsome in public. I strongly better children with high self confidence are successful than another because if schools encourage children to have a more
time
for sports they will attain high scores in their final exams.
Furthermore
the children who are in shape and pleasant and so
forth all
Accept comma addition
forth, all
of which are the consequences of doing exercise, that lead to saving money not only can they be
health
Suggestion
healthier
healthy
but
also
they do not spend a vast sum of money for
disease
Suggestion
the disease
. In conclusion, the rate accelerating obesity
between
Suggestion
among
people is dangerous and it is
crucal
of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis
crucial
for experts write various articles about that and encourage schools to have a more physical education
lessons
Suggestion
lesson
.
It
Suggestion
It's
my believe, families should pay attention children’s
health
and listen to the
health
care system alarms and support
then
for increasing sport
times
the subject matter of a conversation or discussion
themes
.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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