IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#children #form #discipline
Some folks believe that punishing children physically is the best way to keep them in discipline, whereas as some people argue with
this
 view of smacking. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the view of smacking children in an attempt to inculcate good habits within them.
Firstly
, giving harsh punishment to the pupil is disastrous for their holistic development.
As a result
, they come under depression as they start hiding things from their parents and might feel insecure.
For example
, a study of child psychology department of Oxford university has proved that children develop stress and other mental diseases when tortured physically.
Secondly
, children who are often penalized physically can grow up as an aggressive adult.
Consequently
, they take out aggression on every little thing and become adamant.
Thus
,
this
 leads to adversely impact their behaviour. Even a study of child development society of Australia has proved that children talk very rudely and roughly with their peers, parents and teachers who receive tough physical punishment during their early ages.
Hence
,
smacking
the act of smoking tobacco or other substances
smoking
 is not the best approach to correct the mistakes of the pupil.
Last
 but not the least, penalizing will
also
 increase the relationship gap between parents and kids.
Therefore
, children start living away from their parents which results in dissolving their concrete bonding.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Texas university has proved that 30% of the children had developed distance from their parents to get rid of their scolding and punishments. In conclusion, I assert that giving physical punishment to the kids is completely unacceptable for their overall development as they become depressed and develop aggressive behaviour.
Moreover
, many relations
also
 get dissolved.
Hence
, parents should take another smart approach of incorporating good traits among pupils to cultivate a disciplined and well behaved citizen.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: