The diagram shows how concentrated apple juice is oroduced.

#apple #juice

The given diagram illustrates information about the procedure for making concentrated

apple

juice.

Overall

according to

the

diagram

Add a comma

,diagram

show examples

there are eleven stages in the process of producing concentrated

apple

juice. The process begins with harvesting and selecting

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

apples

Change preposition

show examples

the farms.Harvested and selected apples are put on receiving belt in order to be washed and sorted.

Then

they are

transfered

Correct your spelling

transferred

into the

apple

grinder.After that

grinded

Correct your spelling

ground

show examples

apples are sent into the pressing machine to separate water from

apple

concentration

cetrifuger

Correct your spelling

centrifuge

Followning

Correct your spelling

Following

that,

aroma

Add an article

the aroma

show examples

is added to

concentration

. In the

stage, the

concentration

is filtered and

then

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

boiled to 80'c to be pasteurized.

, bottles are filled with

concentration

and

then

packed.

Finally

, they are ready to be delivered.

Submitted by alinezhadatefe110 on Sat Nov 02 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words apple, concentration with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

118 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantage of driverless vehicles outweight disadvantages?
The future of transport is the talk of the town.All vehicles will be driverless,in the future.Only travellers will be present in transport.
5
band
In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Advertisements often emphasize the novelty of products to capture the attention and desire for newness of potential customers. This approach may suggest that newer products are inherently superior to older ones, which has negative implications for both the environment and human mental health.
6.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer.He/She has ask for your advice. write a letter to your friednd.in your letter explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you whould like to go camping with your friend this summer
I know that you have decided to join the camping group to spend your summer vacation and you asked my opinion about that. You know that I went on a camping a couple of times and to be honest, I should say that it was really enjoyable. But don’t forget to check some points while choosing the group that you are going with. The one that I joined to had a really supportive and intimate leader. She was constantly checking everything to see if we were comfortable or not. Also, she was really sensitive about choosing the people who were joining the team as she believed that good accompanies can make a camping memory memorable or horrible, and I should admit that I totally agree with her. Everything was absolutely nice except not having a toilet which was kind of torturing for me. Also, I didn’t feel safe sleeping outside. Anyway, considering all these points, I am still interested in attending another camping as the negative points could not stop me from enjoying the moments I had there. S...
4.5
band
Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give you our opinion.
In this fast pacing world, the public tend to neglect the importance of traditional cultures around them. It is a form of identity and a piece of history of the nation. Despite that, there are still people who believe that money- making attractions will be a replacement for the better.
4
band
Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion
It is argued that TV, freinds and songs have become important aspects of a child's development, recently. While, some people have the understanding that family should always come first and be of a great significance in a child's growth. This essay will discuss both these views and will present my opinion at the end.

The diagram shows how concentrated apple juice is oroduced.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantage of driverless vehicles outweight disadvantages?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give you our opinion.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion