Some people think the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is
fierce debate
Suggestion
a fierce debate
among
individuals whether
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individuals, whether
the
government
is reasonable for overweight in children or parents
.
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.
I
however
, believe that parents are responsible for the rise of
such
severe disease called
obesty
more than average fatness
obesity
.
Accept space
.
Therefore
,
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,
this
essay intends to
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
both these arguments before stating my opinion in detail in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand
,
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,
there are many evidences to prove that the
government
is reasonable for overweight in children since the
government
subsidies unhealthy
food
items
,
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,
especially junk
food
alike pizza
,
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,
burger
,
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,
cold drinks as compared to healthy
food
items
such
as milk
,
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,
green vegetables and fruits in the market.
As a result
, young adults give more preference to
spiecy
having an agreeably pungent taste
spicy
food
as a more tasty
food
.
Secondly
, fast
food
items are
more cheapest
Suggestion
cheaper
more cheaper
in contrast
fresh
food
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
, there are a lot of outlets, restaurant and small shops are available
at
Suggestion
in
every
nuck
a sheltered and secluded place
nook
nuke
nick
and corner of a particular society
, especially in outside
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, especially outside
the public places alike schools
,
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,
hospitals and universities.
On the other hand
, several people think that it is the fault of parents because in these days, every mother and father have a hectic life schedule in order to spend most of time for working.
Thus
,
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,
they have less time for preparing fresh and healthy
food
items at their home
.
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.
Another reason is that, parents, especially, who live in
the poor
Suggestion
poorer
backgrounds have less knowledge related to healthy
food
products. For
this
reason, because of less awareness among parents make addiction of obesity as well as overweight to pupils. In conclusion,
alhough
even though, in spite of the fact that
although
government
subsidies unhealthy
food
items in the market, yet I believe that it is the fundamental duty of parents to aware children about healthy
food
products.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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