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Band 6

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue?

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
It
Suggestion
It's
 not surprising that, in many nation children’s are occupied with some kind of paid employment.It is often considered by many that children doing paid
job
is
Suggestion
are
 completely not acceptable, while
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would agree with those who argued that it offers incredible
job
 experience and sense of responsibility children can have in their career. On the one hand, it is commonly argued by many that children doing paid employment when are learning
is certainly have
Suggestion
has certainly had
adverse impact
Suggestion
an adverse impact
 on their performance in schools.
in
Suggestion
In
 other words, children may get poor results or they may fail in academic year
this
 would probably pave the way for termination from
school
Suggestion
the school
.
For instance
 a recent survey conducted in rural area shows that there is
noticeable decrease
Suggestion
a noticeable decrease
 in results of students who busy in working outside.
Thus
, many thought that children occupied with work while studying is not applicable it has
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on their studies.
On the other hand
, some people argued that children who engaged in paid work would definitely get
a
Suggestion
an
 excellent opportunity to explore
themselves
objective case of they
them
 to earn money and to support their family
.
Accept space
.
In
others
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 words children would not be a burden for family
instead
 they support family for
thier
of them or themselves
their
 daily living.
In
addition it
Accept comma addition
addition, it
 teaches a lesson about the value of money and how to spend it wisely
instead
 of spending mindlessly.
Furthermore students
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, students
 would like to perform
better more
Accept comma addition
better, more
 in their academics.
For example
, Bangalore University conducted a survey
shows
Suggestion
showing
 that performance of
students
Suggestion
student
 employees are 5percent higher that non working students.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
 children should do paid
job
 as it
pave
Suggestion
paves
 the way
ro
in the direction of
to
 recognise his own responsibility and value of money. To conclude, undoubtedly, despite children occupied with paid
job
 in early age offers some disadvantages
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 strongly believe that students should do some kind of jobs to earn wages which gives
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of responsibility.
Submitted by chaitraruthvik on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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