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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a car

#people #car
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In our lives, we move from one place to another one for various reasons. While travelling, with developing the technology we are becoming dependent on
vehicles whether
Accept comma addition
vehicles, whether
 it is private
car
Use synonyms
 or public bus.
Linking Words
Besides owing
Accept comma addition
Besides, owing
 to a
car
Use synonyms
 brings some drawbacks, it has
greatly
Suggestion
great
greater
 benefits and
that is
Linking Words
 why the number of the
car
Use synonyms
 owner is increasing every day. The main advantages of owing to a personal
car
Use synonyms
 are it gives the freedom of travelling. The person can become flexible about
destination
Suggestion
the destination
destinations
, timetable or routes where will go and
also
Linking Words
 will not have to set the
time according
Accept comma addition
time, according
 to the schedule of public
transportation
Use synonyms
, wait for hours, stop every station to arrive the location.
Linking Words
Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
 ensures to travel comfortably in many ways.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
car
Use synonyms
-owner can take people who want to attend the journey with the goods
on the contrary
Linking Words
 to public
transportation
Use synonyms
. In terms of benefits, sometimes personal
car
Use synonyms
 might be cheaper, more safety and
more comfortable
Suggestion
more comfort
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, owing to a
car
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages as well.
First
Linking Words
 of all private
car
Use synonyms
require
Suggestion
requires
 the garage place and parking issues.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
can not
can not
cannot
 carry many passengers at a
time even
Accept comma addition
time, even
 if occupy spaces in the street. As the number of cars is increasing on the road so does the traffic jam and
also
Linking Words
 is the huge damage to human health and the environment.
the
Suggestion
The
 more cars mean more air pollutions. Perhaps the major drawbacks of owing to a
car
Use synonyms
 are more expensive for a person who could have easily available public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
If
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would have to travel alone, the cost per person might be
economic
Suggestion
economical
. To sum up, I think the private
car
Use synonyms
 is a very useful vehicle that offers more advantages to its owner.
However
Linking Words
, the environmental issues as much as the expense of using cars should not be ignored if the public
transportation
Use synonyms
 system is accessible and efficient.
Submitted by oykum.toprak35 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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