Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, Many nations receive funds from richer countries,
this
international aid is highly significant for economically deprived ones;
however
, some experts think that
this
assistances would bring more damaging effects on these nations than any benefits it might provide. In my opinion, I strongly support
this
viewpoint.
First
of all, by providing financial support,
this
only creates dependency towards those who fund them.
This
may not be effectively tackled the problems. As a citizen, most of them do not feel to find solutions for their difficulties since they are continuously getting aid.
By contrast
, if they do not provide any helps, they would find solutions for the challenges of their surroundings and work to overcome it by a joint
efforts
Suggestion
effort
. Take Kenya as an example, which has
getting
Suggestion
gotten
got
financial assistances from various countries, but they did not improve their economical status, remains still
under developed
relating to societies in which capital needed to industrialize is in short supply
underdeveloped
. Another possible issue here is that several countries are severely corrupted;
therefore
, whatever money they get from international community may not reach to the hands of needy people. In
such
situation, the rich become rich and the poor become poor, the gap between rich and poor widens.
This
may not be feasible for a thriving society.
Insted
Suggestion
Instead
of
this
, experts believe that building educational institutions, hospitals, and
infrastrucures
the basic structure or features of a system or organization
infrastructures
would be even better to
suppor
give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to
support
poor nations, rather than squandering money for them. By way of conclusion, even though some advocates think that supporting poor countries with money would be better, others think that it can have more damaging effects than any positives.
I personally
Accept comma addition
I, personally
, again reaffirm that these countries need to be helped by giving training and technical expertise.
Submitted by Sal on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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