Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

#studies #children #time #tv #case #measures #methods

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Children

spend most of their

time

in their regular academic

activities

and with the remaining

time

they like to spend in front of the screen, which is forcing physical

activities

to be rare. The causes of

this

factor can be resolved by minor changes in everyone's life, which are going to be elaborated in

further

description. Nowadays, urban

cities

are growing with horse speed, which makes

cities

more populated.

This

is the main factor, which makes

cities

running

Wrong verb form

run

show examples

out of open grounds and gathering spaces, which

forced

Wrong verb form

forces

show examples

children

to think of not

to go

Change the verb form

going

show examples

to play outside. To resolve

this

, planners should be forced to build more gardens and

children

's play areas

while

building residencies or reconstructing and enhancing the

cities

As well as

parents

should spare

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some

time

for

children

and drive them to spaces where they can play.

However

, the school

also

plays a crucial part in

this

. Teachers should arrange daily

activities

, which

includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

show examples

physical activity and creative subjects.

On the other hand

children

are too busy to create something during the day, which makes them mentally tired.

After

this

busy schedule, they do not want to make their body to be tired too, which makes

children

entertain themselves by watching TV. I believe schools and coaching are most responsible for

this

. As the solution rather than put so much burden on students, teachers should find another way of teaching.

As well as

they can

short

Replace the word

shorten

show examples

down

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the syllabus of the semester. At the same

time

, in

this

global tech world TV programmes have been more entertaining and knowledgeful, which makes

parents

let

children

watch

such

programmes.

To sum up

for reducing

Change preposition

to reduce

show examples

watching TV, teachers and

parents

should contribute their selves

Change preposition

show examples

such

activities

Parents

should set vivid limits.

Submitted by architakamjps on Sun Nov 03 2019

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coherence cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and overview of the main points. The conclusion is abrupt and does not summarize the essay effectively. Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The essay fails to fully address the prompt and the arguments lack depth and specificity. Provide specific examples and develop your ideas further to improve task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more people want things instanly (eg. goods , services, news). Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. To what extent do you agree or disaagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Small shops in towns and villages are closing and are being replaced by big stores. Do you think it is a good or a bad trend? Explain your opinion.