Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Children

Use synonyms

spend most of their

time

Use synonyms

in their regular academic

activities

Use synonyms

and with the remaining

time

Use synonyms

they like to spend in front of the screen, which is forcing physical

activities

Use synonyms

to be rare. The causes of

this

Linking Words

factor can be resolved by minor changes in everyone's life, which are going to be elaborated in

further

Linking Words

description. Nowadays, urban

cities

Use synonyms

are growing with horse speed, which makes

cities

Use synonyms

more populated.

This

Linking Words

is the main factor, which makes

cities

Use synonyms

running

Wrong verb form

run

show examples

out of open grounds and gathering spaces, which

forced

Wrong verb form

forces

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to think of not

to go

Change the verb form

going

show examples

to play outside. To resolve

this

Linking Words

, planners should be forced to build more gardens and

children

Use synonyms

's play areas

while

Linking Words

building residencies or reconstructing and enhancing the

cities

Use synonyms

As well as

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

should spare

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some

time

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

and drive them to spaces where they can play.

However

Linking Words

, the school

also

Linking Words

plays a crucial part in

this

Linking Words

. Teachers should arrange daily

activities

Use synonyms

, which

includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

show examples

physical activity and creative subjects.

On the other hand

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

are too busy to create something during the day, which makes them mentally tired.

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

busy schedule, they do not want to make their body to be tired too, which makes

children

Use synonyms

entertain themselves by watching TV. I believe schools and coaching are most responsible for

this

Linking Words

. As the solution rather than put so much burden on students, teachers should find another way of teaching.

As well as

Linking Words

they can

short

Replace the word

shorten

show examples

down

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the syllabus of the semester. At the same

time

Use synonyms

, in

this

Linking Words

global tech world TV programmes have been more entertaining and knowledgeful, which makes

parents

Use synonyms

let

children

Use synonyms

watch

such

Linking Words

programmes.

To sum up

Linking Words

for reducing

Change preposition

to reduce

show examples

watching TV, teachers and

parents

Use synonyms

should contribute their selves

Change preposition

show examples

such

Linking Words

activities

Use synonyms

Parents

Use synonyms

should set vivid limits.

architakamjpsSun Nov 03 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and overview of the main points. The conclusion is abrupt and does not summarize the essay effectively. Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The essay fails to fully address the prompt and the arguments lack depth and specificity. Provide specific examples and develop your ideas further to improve task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
ou have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write an email to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email, give details of the purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacement urgently
I am writing this letter to inform you that, recently I have bought the clothing from your website but some of them do not fit well, so I need to replace it as soon as possible.
<4
band
Many people today spend most of their free time at home watching TV series or movies instead of going out. Do You think this is right or wrong ?
In today's world , most of the individuals spend their leisure time by watching television or films in the home rather than going outside . This is not right, because these activities become the reason of obesity as well as less social intraction . I will discuss the reasons along with the solution in the upcoming paragraphs .
5
band
Some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museums, towns halls and sporting is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Public buildings often reflect the culture, religions and the tradition of the country and the people living in that country. They are an intergral part of community development. These days, some people believe in constructing new public buildings rather than renovating the old ones whereas some other strongly believed in renovating them rather than demolishing and establishing new. In this essay, i will be exploring both of the views and include my opinion regarding it.
<4
band
In some place, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Older Adult is given a honorable in any distric, while in diffrent country young people is regarding meaningfull. Those generation are diffrent but it has the similar responsibility and role on community. In my opinion, I agree with this statement that those level of people have a position each other and combine the two level of age on organization will make a big integration.
4.5
band
Some people think student should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think student should spend time on other important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some assert that the studying of food making should be taught as main subject in the school curriculm while others believe that students might concentrate on essential subjects such as math, physics, chemistry,.. Because both viewpoints are justifiable, I personally lean towards the latter.

Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

ou have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write an email to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email, give details of the purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacement urgently

Many people today spend most of their free time at home watching TV series or movies instead of going out. Do You think this is right or wrong ?

Some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museums, towns halls and sporting is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In some place, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think student should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think student should spend time on other important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.