IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is b increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Linking Words
initially
Suggestion
Initially
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
strangly
with strength or in a strong manner
strongly
 believe that sport is very important of
maters
a vaguely specified concern
matters
 which of them, not only can keep healthy society but
also
Linking Words
 they can help to
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
yourth
a young person (especially a young man or boy)
youth
out
your
 better than
past
Suggestion
the past
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 let you know more about me and how
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think about
this
Linking Words
subggect
the subject matter of a conversation or discussion
subject
.
Increasing number
Suggestion
An increasing number
Increasing numbers
The increasing number
 of sport facilities
is
Suggestion
are
 the easy path for the
gavernmets
Suggestion
government's
governments
 for keeping
bith
two things or people together
both
bait
birth
heath
a form of energy that is transferred by a difference in temperature
heat
 and safe their
society but
Accept comma addition
society, but
 the govern have to look
to
Suggestion
for
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 opinions.
Body paragraph 1
at
Suggestion
At
first
Linking Words
, I want to see
first
Linking Words
 point of view about
incearsing sport fasility
Suggestion
an increasing sport facility
increasing sport fasility
increasing sport facility
incearsing sport facility
 is enough. I think that they as parents or adults who have
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
 in the their family, have many
concern
Suggestion
concerns
 about their
yourth
a young person (especially a young man or boy)
youth
 member in the own
self family
Accept comma addition
self, family
, they believe that by
inceasing
becoming greater or larger
increasing
 safe area which young people can spend more their time in there, it can help them to decrease of attending in the worse friend gathering.
Body paragraph 2
on
Suggestion
On
 the
othe
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 hand,
secend
coming next after the first in position in space or time or degree or magnitude
second
 group
believe
Suggestion
believes
 that
this
Linking Words
motiveit
Accept comma addition
motive, it
motive it
 is not
adequat
having the requisite qualities or resources to meet a task
adequate
 for making
health society
Accept comma addition
health, society
becouse
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they think about those
place
Suggestion
places
whithout
in absence of
without
concedering
deem to be
considering
 young
peolpe
Suggestion
person
people
person's
 needs, are not
usefull
being of use or service
useful
 and they say before of any moving and thinking about
this
Linking Words
 problem, it is better to significant to
haighest
Suggestion
the highest
highest
 required by young
peaple
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
.
Conclusion
to
Suggestion
To
concloud
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 have a same idea about
neccessary
absolutely essential
necessary
 about measuring all of the
peroblasms
a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved
problems
,
lacks
tell anonymously
leaks
 or needs
that is
Linking Words
 why
this
Linking Words
 result can help us to both make a
best
Suggestion
better
good
 way and
dession
make or work out a plan for; devise
design
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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