IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion

#people #gadgets #phones #laptops
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It is generally seen that in
this
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 materialistic world people addicted to purchase new things for fulfil their needs. According to my ideology
this
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 trend has negative impacts on an individual's life as well as on our environment.
To begin
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 with, excessive shopping leads to the squandering of
money
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, which create many obstacles in life of the masses. In other word, when people utilize their
money
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 on unnecessary things.
Then
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 they face financial problems because in
this
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 inflation era, mostly things are not in a range of people,
however
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 for showing their status in society they borrow
money
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 from banks and other people. According to a recent survey by BBC news channel showed that more than half population in India reeling under financial hurdles because their expenses are more than their wages. Probing ahead, when people buy new things,
then
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 they discard their old things in the trash, which eventually ends up in a landfill site. These landfill sites are full of non-recyclable and toxic matter that can harm flora and fauna.
Hence
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, massive amount of disposing component deterioration our climate at an alarming rate.
Therefore
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, it is
also
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 claimed by environment experts 90 percent animals and habitats are disturbed by dumping grounds. If people will not put a cap on buy excessive things,
then
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 in upcoming years, some species of flora and fauna will extinct To recapitulate, after analysing the entire writing. I conclude that
instead
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 of disbursing
money
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 on unnecessary things people should donate
money
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 for social development and people
also
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 should minimize the amount of scrap they throw out.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology advancements
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • status symbol
  • financial burden
  • obsession
  • impulsive
  • consumerism
  • sustainability
  • e-waste
  • environmentally friendly
  • second-hand market
  • repairability
  • upgradability
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