IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argued that having money makes people happy, some says that having too much money only brings problem. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money
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There is no doubt that in
order
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 to acquire any goods or obtain any service, one has to pay a certain amount of
money
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. While some individual believe that
money
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 brings happiness, others argue that limited
money
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 is good because having too much of them brings numerous problems. I completely agree with the former view, and in
this
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 essay I will support my view with examples.
First
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 of all,
money
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 is very essential in today's world.
This
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 is because, it is required for getting any activity done or obtaining any goods or services. An individual earns
money
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 to not only satisfy his needs, but
also
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 to live his life to the fullest.
For example
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, when an individual has sufficient
money
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 left after all the basic needs, he can decide to purchase goods as per his desire.
This
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 will make him happy and will
further
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 motivate him to earn more. Another pivotal point to consider is that,
money
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 is very crucial in
order
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 to meet emergency needs. Today, medical services are becoming expensive due to a lot of demand for various treatments. So, in
order
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 to pay for
such
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 services,
money
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 is required immediately, so that the treatment can be done at the right time and without any delay.
Thus
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, sufficient
money
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 avoids any problem arising through unforeseen circumstances. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that sufficient
money
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 is very essential in
order
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 to fulfil the desire of an individual, whether it buying new clothes or taking a vacation flight every year,
also
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 avoiding any event happening in emergency situations.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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