IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

QUESTION: Some people say the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal on public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion

#people #places #measures #tour
There is no doubt that it is important to consider how governments should spend its money.
Although
 some people think that train lines should be given the priority in the governmental spending, I completely disagree with
this
 argument and I will discuss my view in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, those who think public funds should be directed to railways might argue that it can attract passengers to use trains again.
This
 is because
such
 a sort of transportation is considered one the oldest means, which is not equipped with recent technologies,
such
 as GPS tracking service and Wifi.
For example
, trains in a developing country like Egypt are the worst way of commuting.
Therefore
, it is commonly known that Egyptians prefer to use other means,
such
 as vehicles and planes.
In contrast
, If the government spends its funding in trains,
this
 will attract commuters to
such
 a mean.
However
, I would totally believe that it is pivotal to spend governments' money on roads. The reason for
this
 is that there are many road accidents occur because of poor roads' infrastructure.
For instance
,
this
 is can be seen by a growing number of accidents in Egypt due to the lack of safety precautions in these roads. If,
in contrast
, the government developed
such
 roads,
this
 would save many people's live. In conclusion, despite the fact that developing railways can have many benefits,
such
 as attracting passengers and rising income, it is my firm belief that government should direct its money to improve roads.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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