In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their product are new in some way, Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
These days, technology is developing really fast, and companies every time produce new
things
, so they introduce them with publicity also
, saying this
is new. because they want to have a lot
of sales. In my opinion, It is a negative development because they are damaging the environment, and people
waste their money.
Unfortunately, most of the who people
watch advertising like to buy new things
for some reason. Firstly
, influencers, celebrities, and other people
have these devices
and they like to be the same as them. Secondly
, they believe that when they buy new devices
they reduce the time spent on housework.
On the one hand, when people
see these kinds of commercials, then
they want to buy new devices
that have or have not bought yet; as a result
, people
who have old tools have more effect on their surroundings instead
of other groups. In other words
, companies that have been manufacturing these devices
generate a lot
of pollution; moreover
, populations who have these gadgets have the fact that they put last
devices
away and become trash that is
injuring backgrounds.
On the other hand
, It is crucial that firms like a lot
of money and when they advertise, then
they want to improve their sales; therefore
, increase their profits; furthermore
, if people
buy new things
that they have old ones or they do not need a lot
. In fact, they help manufacturers to obtain their goals; however
, they waste their money. To illustrate, Apple company every year introduce the iPhone which is the really same as the last
one, yet it says no this
one is much better than the past; nevertheless
, sometimes the new iPhone has the lowest efficiency in the past.
In conclusion, it is necessary that people
do not follow other people
who are our models; moreover
, they think about the things
that they really need . In addition
, the most important fact are environment that we destroy with our work.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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language
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to convey your ideas more clearly.
language
Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay to enhance readability.
task
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. For instance, explain how these products harm the environment more concretely.
task
Develop each point more fully. Some ideas are briefly mentioned but not elaborated upon, which affects the depth of the argument.
task
The essay addresses the topic effectively and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence
The introductory and concluding paragraphs are well-structured, setting the stage for the argument and summarizing it effectively.
coherence
The essay makes an effort to connect ideas logically, which enhances the overall flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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