IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work? What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

#background #cities #work #consequences #offer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, many rural people have been migrating into urban areas as they don't want to continue to work in
agriculture
Use synonyms
 jobs. Destruction of
agriculture
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 can not be unavoidable
,
Accept space
,
if
this
Linking Words
 situation continued to grow;
therefore
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 has to implement some rules and regulations to manage
this
Linking Words
 situation under control. One possible issue here is, since a large group of rural residents relocates into cities,
this
Linking Words
 would severely damage the rural villages.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
places
Suggestion
place
 may be abandoned along with its
agriculture
Use synonyms
 sector, which means Indian economy is going to suffer in coming years.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey has reported that the number of youngsters who work in farming is reducing significantly, which would
lead severe
Suggestion
lead to severe
 food scarcity later on. The main reason of
this
Linking Words
 dwelling is that
this
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
 does not provide a sufficient
industry
Use synonyms
 earnings for workers to run their family.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite the above mentioned consequences of city dwelling,
this
Linking Words
 can be effectively tackled by the
government
Use synonyms
 strong initiatives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the authority should invest money for the development the rural area infrastructures to promote farming:
agriculture
Use synonyms
 skill development institutions, equipment sales and service centre, and markets for selling of
agriculture
Use synonyms
 products. By doing
this
Linking Words
, gradually, the
industry
Use synonyms
 would flourish and farmers could make profit out of it.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 ensures that the basic requirements of the rural area must be developed to meet the demand of local.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they,
consequently
Linking Words
, prefer to
live
go away from a place
leave
 their rural place, rather than into cities By way of conclusion, even though city dwelling causes a wide range problems on farming in rural villages,
this
Linking Words
 would be tackled by the
government
Use synonyms
 when they take prompt action for the same.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: