There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,

children

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face a lot of pressure to succeed in their studies. Some people think that non-academic

subjects

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such

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as physical education and cookery, should be removed so that

students

Use synonyms

can focus more on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I disagree with

this

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idea because these

subjects

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are

also

Linking Words

important for

children

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overall

Linking Words

development. On the one hand, some parents believe that removing non-academic

subjects

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can help

students

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spend more time on important

subjects

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like math and science.

As a result

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, they may achieve better grades and have more opportunities in the future. Most parents want their

children

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to become professionals,

such

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as engineers, doctors, or scientists, because these jobs are often well-paid and respected in society.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they support removing non-academic

subjects

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in order to improve academic performance.

On the other hand

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, non-academic

subjects

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are

also

Linking Words

important. Physical education helps

students

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stay healthy and active, which is especially important in modern

society

Punctuation problem

society,

show examples

where many

children

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spend too much time sitting.

In addition

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subjects

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like cookery teach useful life skills,

such

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as preparing meals and living independently in the future. These

subjects

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can

also

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help

students

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relax and reduce stress from studying, which can improve their

overall

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well-being.

Moreover

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, youngsters can discover their hobbies,

such

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as basketball and football, through physical education, which may even lead to future careers. In conclusion,

although

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focusing on academic

subjects

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is important, I believe non-academic

subjects

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should not be removed because they play a crucial role in

students

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' health, skills, and

overall

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development.

enhbileg0117

Apr 1, 2026

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task response

Say your main view more strongly and keep it clear in all parts.

task response

Add one or two more clear examples to make your ideas stronger.

task response

Explain a few points more deeply, not only in a general way.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with more care so the flow feels more natural.

coherence and cohesion

Make each body paragraph stay on one main idea first, then support it step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Try to vary how you connect ideas, not always with the same words.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear opinion.

task response

Your ideas are easy to understand and mostly stay on topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear purpose, which helps the reader follow your ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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