IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership.

#world #history #violence #conflict #leadership #peace #option
Peace and prosperity are not bound to genders. We cannot make discrimination between men and women in their
leadership
 skills. We know that women are rubbing shoulders with men in
this
 era. At different times leaders of both genders prove themselves, but
sometime
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 it varies on other factors and situations. On
First
 hand, many times it happened that countries made attack on each other during
men
Suggestion
men's
man's
leadership
, but it was due to terrorism, religious differences and nuclear power which were the key elements of the war
such
 as Nagasaki and Hiroshima attack. But in women
leadership
 many countries face national emergency issues due to
violent
Suggestion
violence
 in country as here we can take the example of India when Indra Gandhi was prime minister of India she had done discrimination on religion that’s why people from
Sikh religion
Suggestion
the Sikh religion
 killed her to take their revenge and ultimately it disturb the peace of the country.
Besides
 that there are many countries which are ruled by men, but they have the least number of crime, violence and war,
then
 it would be an injustice to target the
gender
 based on their
leadership
 skills. On the other aspects, the peace of society and countries are disturbed by down economics, crime and poverty. When people are not satisfied with their life,
then
 they try to choose another way to bring satisfaction. Leaders can be with any
gender
, but they should have the knowledge to create bonds with other countries, strengthen the economy and avoid the war for the welfare of the nation. These real duties can perform by any leader with any
gender
. To conclude,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would say that we cannot decide
gender
 to rule the country, but we can choose a wise person who have good
leadership
 skills and know how to perform duties under any circumstances. Men and women should give equal chances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: