These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children’s #behaviour

There is no denying the fact that television

programs

provide a murderousness

while

it may increase our children's love to kill.

While

it is a commonly held belief that our kid's attitudes could change because of violent

programs

, there is

also

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that it is true to change our children's attitudes.

To begin

with, in recent years many

programs

have given our generation bad shows.

In other words

, it really changes their mindset and makes them want to kill or punch anyone they see.

In addition

kids

still do not know the difference between good and bad.

For example

, in the

last

10 years , we can see that the

kids

want to punch anyone because

this

is caused by a lack of understanding and empathy. Parents and educators should work together to teach children how to express their emotions without resorting to

violence

. Another point to consider, educators should reduce the amount of

violence

. It is

also

possible to say that, many

kids

can not take all of the

violence

in the show, it could cause them complex emotions.

Moreover

, it is really scary as long as the

kids

will treat

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others like what they see in the TV

programs

For instance

, imagine a kid punching other boys because he wants to be like the character in the TV program he saw, and the boy gets hurt for no reason

this

will cause problems for both families. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that educators should reduce the amount of

violence

because the

kids

can not stand it.

Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

Strengthen the argument with more specific examples or data to provide stronger support for your points.

task achievement

Clarify unclear terms and expressions to ensure the reader understands your points (e.g., 'provide a murderousness').

coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure by more clearly linking ideas between paragraphs and sentences.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that main points are fully developed with explanations and examples related to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, aligning with the topic.

task achievement

Identified and explored multiple perspectives on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

exposure
influence
desensitization
imitate
parental guidance
education
mitigate
negative impact
affected
violent content
behavior
factors

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people of all ages are getting information from electronic products, and some people tend to argue printed books as well as magazines are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people prefer to be in the same kind of job their entire life, but others like to change their jobs frequently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?