Art and Music are considered some of the fundamental elements of the societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

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In an era of scientific grown and advancements, technology has taken precedence over many other

career

paths. Arts and

music

have always been a fundamental element of the society;

however

, people are inclining towards more stable careers that can provide good earnings while

also

keeping them up to pace with the society. In my opinion,

art

and

music

will always have a vital role to play and it is imperative that its study is encouraged amongst students

Suggestion

a school level. Learning arts and

music

helps in exploring the

innovative

Suggestion

innovation

and creative aspect of one’s brain. People tend to develop their creative and innovative skills while learning different forms of

art

and

music

; and it is

also

a healthy leisure time activity.

Furthermore

learning arts

Accept comma addition

learning, arts

and

music

is not only a source of entertainment for students, but the skills learned can

also

be utilized in pursuing a

career

in entertainment. Despite technological advancements,

music

and

art

industry has remained evergreen. Talented individuals excel in their

career

and have high earnings.

Moreover

, it is

also

a source of

popularism

. Despite its charms, the

art

and

music

industry has remained unreliable, and instant success is hard to achieve. On one hand, research funding is encouraged for young technologist due to advancements,

on the other hand

, people in the entertainment industry find it difficult to secure sponsorships and funding. In conclusion, it really depends on your

career

choices and inclination rather than the changes occurring in the world due to modern technology. At a school level, arts and

music

should remain a part of the curriculum.

However

, parents and teachers should ensure that a balance is maintained between arts/

music

and technological studies. Once they are able to make their

career

choices, students can opt for careers they feel comfortable in pursuing.

Submitted by waqarsheikh820 on Wed Nov 06 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

298 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art and Music are considered some of the fundamental elements of the societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Fully explain your ideas

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

What is your preference when looking for a new device: friend's recommendations or magazines, newspapers or articles? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?