IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree

#children #money
Although
 saving money was taught to be a part of growing up
in
Suggestion
with
 children in the past in comparison to those who more easily spend now.
This
 essay agrees that children in the past were taught to be wise with their spending and were encouraged different ways to save when compared to those now. In recent years, children find it easier to spend on things they want to buy.
This
 reason can be influenced by many factors
such
 as television commercials and peer pressure. Parents need to teach their children different ways of saving from a younger age and make them understand the importance of it, so that
this
 will help them in the future.
For example
, I remember growing up
,
Accept space
,
collecting money in a piggy bank for a period of three months. I would start saving every penny I got rather than spending it on candy.I would look forward to the end of
this
 period and get so excited to use the cash and buy something I really wanted.
This
 habit made me realize the importance of saving. It
also
 helped me become more patient as well as to understand the value of what I bought. Since I understood the importance of saving, it helped me save and budget when I had to be independent through college and university. Youngsters need to understand the difference between ‘wants and needs’ before spending, it teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should positively encourage and educate children to make
right choices
Suggestion
the right choices
 of spending on the important needs in life.While growing up
,
Accept space
,
it is important to help them understand the values of saving for needs until they reach a certain level of maturity and independence.Children in poorer countries
such
 as
Africa
Accept comma addition
Africa, for
for example
 can’t afford to even spend on basic average needs like water
,
Accept space
,
food
,
Accept space
,
books and clothes. Parents play an important role in to cultivate
this
 habit because as children they will make poor choices due to the lack of understanding. To conclude, our children need to learn to spend wisely and make smart choices rather than blindly spending money on things that are not beneficial to them long term.
Submitted by sarahmbawa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: