IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Writing task 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about going to college or trying to get a job. You think he should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter . Tell me why he doesn't like going to college . Explain why the job is right for him . Offer him suitable jobs Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to enter any address. Start your letter like this: Dear...

#minutes #friend #advice #college #job #doesn #right #offer #jobs #address
Dear Sir, I have a piece of advice for you. You shouldn't go to
college
. Because it is a very good idea to graduate from
college
 and get a job. You do not like going to
college
. Because there are teachers in the
college
. And they are
hard handed
Add a hyphen
hard-handed
show examples
. You do not like them. There are teachers who are unfair to you.
Then
 you do not like the time of classes in
college
 because the class is long.
Then
 you do not like your
college
 kids either. You always walk alone.
That is
 why you need to get a job. You have to work. There are many jobs that suit you and you have many skills. I know many jobs that are perfect for you.
For example
, a craftsman, a taxi driver, a salesman and an engineer. These professions are very suitable for you. I think the most suitable job is a translator. Because you know English, Russian and German. I look forward to
hear
Wrong verb form
hearing from
show examples
 you. Yours faithfully, Arslonov Jasur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence
Structure your letter more effectively by dividing it into clear paragraphs. This will help in presenting each idea distinctly and improve the overall flow.
cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and make your writing more cohesive.
task achievement
Provide more specific reasons why a job is better suited for your friend with relevant examples or details about his skills and interests.
task achievement
Avoid repetition and rephrasing similar sentences to ensure your letter remains concise and clear.
task achievement
You have included some relevant job suggestions based on his skills in language proficiency, which is excellent.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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