In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional, complementary forms of medicines are now widely known and used. The effectiveness oft kinds of treatment is determined by the patient's mental attitude towards it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicines both Western and traditional have their importance and many diseases can be cured effectively.
People
have a perception that only medicines and treatments cannot cure a patient, but it is their attitude towards the treatment that makes the patient get better. I agree with
this
opinion
,
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apply
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because effectual
drugs
are taken by
people
, but their anxiety about the disease gets reduced only by their belief.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional medicine is very common among
people
from an early period and
people
have a strong faith in these
drugs
, because it is beneficial in curing the disease,
besides
they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
no after effects.
However
, it is factual because after getting healed
people
must become active and brisk rather than pale,
lifeless
Correct word choice
and lifeless
show examples
.
For instance
, if children or any family members are down with
fever
Correct article usage
a fever
show examples
and cold,
then
the mothers will automatically turn to their kitchen and prepare herbal medicines using pepper, garlic, honey and ginger, and feed them the juice
,
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apply
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because they believe it cures the problem better than modern
drugs
.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern remedies can
also
heal our pain and problems
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a low cost which is the viewpoint of many others. Indeed,
this
can be true in some cases, but the cost of modern treatment is
also
high.
However
, keeping the cost apart,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reduces our illness within a
short-period
Correct your spelling
short period
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of time.
Therefore
, the intuition of many
people
in the present day is that because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the chemical quantity in the
drugs
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
high, it can restore our health in a better manner.
For example
, Vicks Action 500 is helping
people
to get
relieved
Replace the word
relief
show examples
from
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
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instantaneously and the sales of
this
medicine are very high in the pharmaceutical
,
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apply
show examples
because they believe that only modern treatments can treat them successfully. In conclusion, whatever be the treatments or
drugs
swallowed by the
people
, it their thinking towards the therapy that makes them feel better and
restore
Correct subject-verb agreement
restores
show examples
their health.

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task achievement
The essay can benefit from more specific and concrete examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, citing a particular study or anecdotal evidence could make the points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother. Using linking words more effectively will help the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
There are occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading the essay more thoroughly or having it peer-reviewed can help catch these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer addresses both forms of medicine and provides a balanced view, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The examples given, although general, are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made.

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