The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballers #time #people

These days media channels

are preferring

Suggestion

prefer

to showcase private lives and relationships of the stars or reputable individuals in sports and other entertainment industries.

Consequently

, the news regarding ordinary people has been lost. As a citizen, I totally disagree with

this

situation. In

this

essay, both positions will be discussed and

also

my point of view will be given based on my individual experience. On the one hand, in order to run the

media businesses

Accept comma addition

media, businesses

owners

Suggestion

the owners

of them need to earn enough money from advertisements paid by enterprises by publishing sensational, shocking and unpleasant hot news about stars’

life

to attract publicity. Another example is that being provided by these kind of news, some people are motivated to enhance their current living standards through their comparison with those stars who usually have higher quality

life

On the other hand

, always watching and reading sportsmen or

entertainers experienced

Accept comma addition

entertainers, experienced

usually luxury utilization and hippy

life

pattern influences negatively on our

young

Suggestion

younger

generation’s behaviour. From my observations, a lot of adolescents have been wasting their parents’ money in order to purchase so costly branded products. The main reason for doing

this

is that they just want to look like

Suggestion

the stars they admire. For

instant

Suggestion

an instant

, one of my cousins was grown up cared by an au pair because of her busy business parents. She watched every TV, which usually displays sensational news, reality show and entertainment programs due to her nanny who always utilizes the media.

This

cousin has become a person who always asks money from her parents to look

similarly

with Beyonce, one of the best singers in the world. In short, I believe the media should be responsible for

reporting balanced

Accept comma addition

reporting, balanced

news including both famous and ordinary folks’

life

. If we always receive just one-sided information, our

generation cannot realise authenticity of the

life

Thu Nov 07 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many animals are endangered in the environment. Some people argue that we should only protect those endangered animals that are useful to human. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Taking professional and personal risks is quite necessary for many individuals. I firmly believe that the profits of being risky such as success and an interesting life outweigh any drawbacks.

Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?