IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think money is the best gift to give to teenagers others disagree to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers
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It is often thought by some people that the best present to offer youngsters is cash, in my
opinion I
Accept comma addition
opinion, I
 think there are other souvenirs
such
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 as bags, shoes and other items that can be given as rewards. On the one hand, while some people argued that the most appropriate gift for adolescents is
money
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 and I agree
this
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 is because sometimes, the individuals involved may come from
such
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 a poverty stricken background that they truly need the currency for survival.
As a result
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, basic needs are met and
such
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 teens are happy. To illustrate
this
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, there was a young child in my street who needed
money
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 to pay her school fees, the church helped her with some cash every semester and now she is a graduate.
On the other hand
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, even though it is argued by some people that
money
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 is the most excellent gift that can be offered to teenagers, I believe that other
items
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items, such
such
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 as bags, shoes or beautiful dresses could be the best depending on the situation. More often than not, there is no amount of
money
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 that can be given to children from
very rich background
Suggestion
a very rich background
 that they will
appreciate but
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appreciate, but
 sometimes a beautiful present
such
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 as nice bags, shoes or dresses may come in handy.
In addition
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, given
money
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 to teenagers may make them do what they are not supposed to do
for instance
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, when given cash, a young boy can get into drugs and alcohols. In conclusion, even though some are of the opinion that hard currency is the most suitable reward to be presented to young adults, I think other souvenirs
such
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 as nice bags and wrist watch may be preferred by some teens.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
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