Nowadays many people work part or full time from home. Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whilst some people are of the belief that celebrities earn myriads of money and negatively affect the community, others think that they must gain
numerous amount
Suggestion
the numerous amount
of money as they positively affect the public. I am convinced that superstars should receive
enormous cash
Suggestion
the enormous cash
because they not only make our life more
fun but
Accept comma addition
fun, but
also
they aware us about issues and problems in the society or globally. In the following essay, both views will be explained. On one hand, people in our community think that people who entertain us should not earn big cash because they affect the society in a negative way especially the children and the Adolescent.
In other words
, in spite of their aptitudes, they harm the youth by their aggressive content like action movies which imitated by youngsters
.
Accept space
.
This
has been supported by an article published in The Guardian, as per
this
article, that the average salary of a public figure, who do not add value to the society, is almost 10x the salary of a life-saving profession like doctors.
Thus
, superstars must be salaried like any other job or be paid based on the value they offer.
On the other hand
, a big sector of the community thinks that entertainers deserve every penny they earn because they not only provide us with fun and inspiring materials, they
also
become symbols and mentors for the children. Per a documentary showed in Netflix, the national team football player of Egypt, Mohamed Salah, plays an active role
on
Suggestion
in
the crisis of drug addiction and makes youth aware of its danger.
Hence
, if superstars
did not be paid
Suggestion
haven't paid
have not paid
weren't paid
were not paid
didn't pay
did not pay
were not paying
enough, they may leave the industry and we will be deprived
from
Suggestion
of
their art. To conclude, some people believe in the entertainers and their crucial roles and they support the idea that they must
paid
Suggestion
pay
enough, others think the opposite due to their perspective about the celebrities’ negative effect. I would like to restate my opinion that people who entertain us must be compensated enough.
Submitted by amansourhex on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: