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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The computers are widely used in education and some people think that teachers do not play an important role in the classroom. To what extent do you agree???

#computers #education #people #teachers #role #classroom
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New technologies have performed a true revolution in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives in the past decades, and it is not different when it comes to education.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that, with
growing
Add an article
the growing
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 use of computers in the learning process,
teachers
Use synonyms
 lost their importance in the classroom, I would argue that
,
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apply
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 not only nowadays, but
also
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 in the future,
teachers
Use synonyms
 will always play an essential role in
children
Use synonyms
's education. Professors are considered the right guides
to
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for
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 our pupils.
While
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 they teach educational content to
children
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, they help with their personal development
Rephrase
apply
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also
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.
For instance
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,
children
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 do not learn only specific subjects when they are at school,
learning
Wrong verb form
they learn
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 how to interact with other
people
Use synonyms
 as well and
teachers
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 play an important role in
this
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 interaction. If these educators
would
Verb problem
did
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 not exist, our
children
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did
Verb problem
would
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 not have the thought to discern
the
Correct article usage
apply
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right from
the
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apply
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wrong.
As a result
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,
children
Use synonyms
 would grow up without limits and ethics.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 do not succeed
with
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in
show examples
 the self-learning process. They need a person to show, at least, the basic topics and, from
this
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 point, they can proceed properly. To illustrate, there is a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 who start an online course and never finish it, because they miss the engagement that
teachers
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 provide to students. To solve
this
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 problem, not only every school should have
teachers
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 following a number of students, but
also
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 online courses should have tutors available in case the student
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
 their help. Evidently, students would be more satisfied and the number of withdraws would fall substantially. In conclusion, despite the space that computers have occupied in our
children
Use synonyms
’s education,
teachers
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 will have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 special place to guide pupils, helping,
consequently
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, in their development as ethical human beings.
Submitted by deborazevedo on

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task response
Great use of examples to support your points. Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your opinion on the issue. Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the opposing argument and explaining why you disagree with it.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and logically organized. Work on linking your ideas more explicitly within and between paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Self-paced learning
  • Personalized education
  • Student-centered learning
  • Interactive tools
  • Blended learning
  • Facilitator
  • Critical thinking
  • Soft skills
  • Empathy
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Mentorship
  • Teacher-student relationship
  • Practical experience
  • Real-world insights
  • Standardization of education
  • Individual student needs
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