In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

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Today in some countries,

although

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the young generation living a better

life

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(richer, safer, and healthier) than ever before, some of them often feel not really happy with their

life

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. In

this

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essay, I will examine the factors that contribute towards

this

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situation and propose some solutions to help them. In my opinion, there are a few reasons why young

people

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feel less happy. First and foremost, the advancement of technology plays a crucial role in transforming

people

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's behaviour. Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most population is a user of social

media

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which keeps them busy with their online

life

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. To illustrate

this

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, let's say a decade ago, students used to play with their

friends

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after school, but today some of them may choose to go home and just scroll down their Instagram or TikTok.

This

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circumstance decreases real interaction which

then

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makes them become more easy to burn out.

Moreover

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, if

people

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are active on social

media

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, they will be easily exposed to their

friends

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' successful lives. It is probably not good for their mental health since they will compare each other's lives.

Secondly

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, young adults may be burdened with their society which indirectly forces them to become successful. As many of the previous generations already settled with their

life

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, young

people

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may feel they have to achieve more. To overcome

this

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issue, several ways can be taken. The first thing young

people

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can do is try to interact with real

people

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. What I mean by

this

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is they need to maximize their social

media

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to join some community

such

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as a cycling group, a book lovers society, or a blind-date class,

thus

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driving them to make new

friends

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. It is a really good idea since there are

alot

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a lot

of things like that on the Internet recently.

However

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, if they still feel unhappy and somehow it is getting worse, I suppose they to seek professional help like going to a counselling session. In conclusion, the circumstances where young

people

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feel less happy are caused by several factors and need a solutive way to help them. The advancement of technology, their social

media

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, and the burdened feeling may be the several reasons behind their feeling.

Therefore

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, I suggest that young adults have more interaction with real

friends

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rather than be busy with their online lives.

In addition

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, they may need to explore new things or even go to a psychologist if they need to.

mmmuuuSun May 12 2024

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Example Specificity

To further enrich your essay, try to include more diverse and detailed examples to illustrate your points. Although you've provided general examples, such as the impact of social media on interpersonal relationships, more specific instances could enhance your argument's depth and authenticity.

Linking Words Variety

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay is well organized, incorporating a more varied selection of transitions could make your writing even smoother and more coherent.

Understanding and Response

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, effectively addressing both the reasons behind the issue and proposing thoughtful solutions.

Structure

You've structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises the main points effectively.

Analysis Depth

The use of real-life implications and societal pressures as reasons for young people's unhappiness shows a deep level of analysis.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

401 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Elderly
Accumulated wisdom
Tradition and history
Guidance
Family life
Cultural practices
Innovation
Technological advancement
Economic productivity
Adaptable
Globalized societies
Physical attributes
Labor force
Economic growth

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In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

Word Count

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.