Governments should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the public. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era sports and art activities play
important role
Suggestion
an important role
in the society. It is beneficial for children's development. Government should huge amount spend on
creativity
Suggestion
creating
more than professional sports for the citizens. There are many benefits for children to
playing
Suggestion
play
sports in the school.
Linking Words
firstly
Suggestion
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
children gain knowledge about games and they can play
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
secondly students
Accept comma addition
Secondly, students
Secondly students
as fit as a fiddle for health.
Linking Words
Therefore some
Accept comma addition
Therefore, some
children show interest their sports like as volleyball and badminton so on.By
Linking Words
this
plural of "this"
these
children get
achievement
Suggestion
an achievement
in
sports field
Suggestion
the sports field
.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
some
people
Suggestion
peoples
person's
peoples'
hobbies to do arts performance.A number
ofarts
Suggestion
of arts
like as painting
,
Accept space
,
singing
,
Accept space
,
cooking
,
Accept space
,
artists on.
people
Suggestion
People
do arts for buy money and gain name and fame in the nation.By
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
they can show their talent in exhibitions and competitions.
This
Linking Words
creativities are better opportunities of students for
future
Suggestion
the future
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
professional sports like as cricket and
kabaddi
Suggestion
Kabaddi
is an international game playing in the country.But some people do not participate in
Linking Words
this games
Suggestion
this game
these games
because they do not chance to
playing
Suggestion
play
games.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
that's why
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
should large amount spend on national level sports
instead
Linking Words
the
professionals
Suggestion
professional
sports.
Linking Words
therefore
Suggestion
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
many sports activities are developed in the school.Teachers always encourage to students for play different games. By
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
children gain confidence
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they get success in their life and they are known for famous celebrity in any field.To conclude
,
Accept space
,
after analysing all the
aspects both
Accept comma addition
aspects, both
are important in our life
.
Accept space
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: