IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
It is thought by some individuals that longer prison sentences would reduce crime rates. Others think that there are other ways of reducing it.
Although
 staying in prison for long would ensure that they learn from their mistakes, I believe giving them parole will be more effective. Reduction of crime in a state or country is not dependent on the time an individual stays in detention.
Although
 it is thought by some that it will ensure that they learn from their mistakes and decide to do right. I disagree with
this
 view. As a teenager, there was a young boy in my area that was caught for stealing, he was taken to prison and he stayed awhile.
However
, when he was released he went back to stealing because
to
Suggestion
of
 him
that is
 all he knew how to do.
Therefore
, keeping prisoners for a long period might not be the answer to crime reduction.
On the other hand
, giving the prisoners parole on time will ensure they integrate into the society and learn to live again.
In other words
, they can learn to cope without thinking of stealing because they have not been left in the cell for a long time. As a teenager, I saw my uncle blend back in the community after he served the jail term for six months for stealing. So, parole is an effective way of integrating them back into the society and they in turn can be good members of the community. In conclusion, despite people vary in their opinion, I consider allowing early release of criminals will ensure that they become good members of the society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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